Peace

So much has been happening recently, but everything has been leading up to a conclusion. That conclusion is that violence seems to reign supreme - something of which I feel uncomfortable and frustrated.

I am chasing my dragon's tail, but let me specify the anguish it took to do the deed. Killing a mortal is something that should never become easy, and actually doing it while looking into their eyes was something that I will never forget. After experiencing my own induced violence, I don't understand the others that seem to so easily discuss if one lives or dies.

I used to feel responsible for the other's morality, but now, after my own purposeful killing, I realise that my first responsibility is to ensure my OWN morality stays intact. Despite the fact that my victim was destroying his family, I know that it wasn't necessarily my right to pass judgement and end his life, pathetic as it appeared.

As a result, I have focused heavily on leashing the endless anger that is within me: The Beast. He has already overcome my will once, but fortunately was unable to inflict anything on anybody since Gabe mercifully dominated me. I say dominate in the most professional of senses. He may be an overwhelming know-it-all and egoist, but his skills with mind control are very valuable. Anyway, I knew that I had to somehow control this Thing, and through the help of Rachel and Darius, I believe that I have obtained a new level of peace and strength.

The ritual was fascinating. I wanted spirits to be involved because all of my influences of the supernatural during my mortal years were by spirits. Through pan flute music and the spirits of serenity, I managed to reach a meditative level of complete emptiness. Up to that point, the Beast was staring at me, with his huge ugly yellow eyes. After emptying my mind through the ritual, I opened my eyes to blessedly find those horrid yellow eyes gone. I had won.