Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Same dance. Different music.

After such a horrible experience a couple weeks ago watching the soul literally being sucked out of somebody, I was prepared for Court to be a completely traumatising event. During these past two weeks I have been able to get the nightmare a softer grey in my mind rather than the horror in blood at the surfance constantly. Honestly, I never want it to go completely away. I can't forget, or I might become the same. It's been difficult already to balance my feeding to keep my personal promise to not take more than a human should have to endure, and to make it as pleasurable as I can for them, but I'm getting more of the hang of it...especially with Darius' help. I'm still annoyed with his and the other vampire's decision to bring us all into their fold; I think there was a better way out for us, but we're here and he is a great support for me. At least he didn't leave me hanging.

Anyway, I'm learning that knowing who you are and politics are essential to getting along in this new society, so I asked Darius to help me get some concerts strictly to the vampiric society. If I want the same sort of status that I had in the other world, I have to probably start over. He helped. OH MY GOD, how he helped! I played at the Discarded Image, the owner of which coordinates the Court. Dear Darius talked to her after my playing in her establishment and got me a slot at Court.

I was so nervous. I was very focused on my slot, and until that was done, I didn't really notice anything specifically, although I felt myself being pulled in various directions and faces pointed out to me. I mentally filed them for another time. My piece, carefully chosen for the mood of vampires that attend this sort of thing, was a smashing success, impressing even the Prince. I was on Cloud 9 the whole time! It wasn't until that was over that I began to make the circles and introductions with Darius. That was when I realised...this society is the same sort of song and dance that I've gone through in my previous society; it just has a slightly different tune. The same nice smile and eyes that say, "what have you got that I can use against you if necessary". The people that were trying to climb the social ladder and the people that were sitting on top enjoying watching the efforts of the others attempting to reach them. I really found it amusing, but I realise that this dance is much much longer, so I must watch my step more carefully here.

No comments: